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I`m
only a week away from seeing you wonderful people. I had a giant letter
written out to send today, but I left it on my desk, so Ì`ll try to
remember it all.
I have spent a lot of time this
week thinking back on my mission. It was hard. It`s still hard. I
struggle every day with my weaknesses. But when I read old journal
entries, I recognize the change that has happened in me. I am not the
same person I was, and I don`t plan on ever going back.
In
August 2012 I decided to change my life. I worked hard to get a temple
recommend, and in October 2012 when the age change came, my answer was
clear. I had to serve the Lord for 18 months to pay back all the huge
mistakes I made. I felt like Alma the Younger after his conversion when
he KNEW he had to share what he felt with the Lamanites. I put in my
papers, and December 5th 2012, my call arrived, but I had to wait to
open it because I was in Hawaii (que triste haha).
"Sister
Allred. You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the
Peru Cusco Mission"
I cried. I knew it was
where I needed to be. I prepared, stressed about clothes, and in April I
was off. The MTC was one of my favorite memories. I felt the spirit so
strongly every day, and learned how to act on the impressions I
recieved. I made friends I will never forget about, and I really
solidified my testimony.
I won`t bore you with
all my experiences on the mission, that`s why I have a blog. But I can
say now more than ever, I needed my mission. I don`t know if any of the
people I pushed along the path of conversion will stay there. I don`t
know if I even made that much of a difference statistically, but that
doesn`t matter, because I loved the crap out of the people I served. I
love them all SO much and I want to see them in heaven, so I need to
live my life in a way that I will end up there when I die. I cannot go
home and think my job is done. I will keep paying back the Lord until
the day I die (and even then I`ll keep working haha).
I
know that missions are not for everyone, but it was for me. I never
once have regretted my decision to serve. Being here has been the
greatest blessing, and now coming home and seeing my family and friends
again will be the rain at the end of a very very long drought.
There`s a song on my USB about before, during, and the end of the mission. the last verse says:
"The
hardest thing I`ve ever loved to do, is getting on this plane and
coming home to you. In a million ways completely torn apart as a land so
far away still owns my heart. in the most sincere prayer I`ve ever
prayed, i thanked my God for each and every day, for the blessing of the
(wo)man I`ve come to be, as I walk up and kiss my momma`s cheek."
I
never ever thought this day would come, but it`s here, and I am so
full. So happy, yet sad to leave. I have a week left to give everything I
have, and I fully plan on doing so.
I will see you all very soon.
Love, Hermana Allred
