Monday, October 13, 2014

This is the last one.

I`m only a week away from seeing you wonderful people. I had a giant letter written out to send today, but I left it on my desk, so Ì`ll try to remember it all. 

I have spent a lot of time this week thinking back on my mission. It was hard. It`s still hard. I struggle every day with my weaknesses. But when I read old journal entries, I recognize the change that has happened in me. I am not the same person I was, and I don`t plan on ever going back. 

In August 2012 I decided to change my life. I worked hard to get a temple recommend, and in October 2012 when the age change came, my answer was clear. I had to serve the Lord for 18 months to pay back all the huge mistakes I made. I felt like Alma the Younger after his conversion when he KNEW he had to share what he felt with the Lamanites. I put in my papers, and December 5th 2012, my call arrived, but I had to wait to open it because I was in Hawaii (que triste haha). 

"Sister Allred. You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Peru Cusco Mission"

I cried. I knew it was where I needed to be. I prepared, stressed about clothes, and in April I was off. The MTC was one of my favorite memories. I felt the spirit so strongly every day, and learned how to act on the impressions I recieved. I made friends I will never forget about, and I really solidified my testimony.

I won`t bore you with all my experiences on the mission, that`s why I have a blog. But I can say now more than ever, I needed my mission. I don`t know if any of the people I pushed along the path of conversion will stay there. I don`t know if I even made that much of a difference statistically, but that doesn`t matter, because I loved the crap out of the people I served. I love them all SO much and I want to see them in heaven, so I need to live my life in a way that I will end up there when I die. I cannot go home and think my job is done. I will keep paying back the Lord until the day I die (and even then I`ll keep working haha). 

I know that missions are not for everyone, but it was for me. I never once have regretted my decision to serve. Being here has been the greatest blessing, and now coming home and seeing my family and friends again will be the rain at the end of a very very long drought. 

There`s a song on my USB about before, during, and the end of the mission. the last verse says:
"The hardest thing I`ve ever loved to do, is getting on this plane and coming home to you. In a million ways completely torn apart as a land so far away still owns my heart. in the most sincere prayer I`ve ever prayed, i thanked my God for each and every day, for the blessing of the (wo)man I`ve come to be, as I walk up and kiss my momma`s cheek."

I never ever thought this day would come, but it`s here, and I am so full. So happy, yet sad to leave. I have a week left to give everything I have, and I fully plan on doing so.

I will see you all very soon. 

Love, Hermana Allred

No comments: